Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
