I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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