i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she looked like the before picture.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
And then my night got REAL pukey
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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