Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
