i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
