so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
