ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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