they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
