Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
