I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
