Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
