come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
