I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
