we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Do vagina's smell?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
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