The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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