I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
