so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
