I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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