it was like eating out sand paper
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
