i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
