ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
