Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
