I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
