i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
don't judge my taste in strippers
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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