Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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