Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
