I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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