i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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