i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
and she was petting her beer can
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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