you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Randomize
