I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
