Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
