My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize
