I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
