try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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