Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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