cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
