I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
