Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
