does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
