there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
