I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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