is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
