if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
