She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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