either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
