meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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