Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
