Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
