And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
