why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
