oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
