at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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