I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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