It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize