Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
