ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Randomize
