Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
