you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He did a backflip because drugs
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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