He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
