your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
