I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I don't think brook has ever known best
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
